A dramatization:
"So the craziest thing happened to me last night. After putting on my Alpo lipstick and neglecting to feed my dog for, like, a week, I took, like, 50 sleeping pills and totally passed out. Then, when I woke up three days later and tried to light a cigarette, I just couldn't get it to stay in my mouth. It was totally weird. After, like, 20 tries, I finally realized that the bottom of my face was, like, totally gone. I also noticed that Fifi (that's my dog) looked really guilty. Anyway, long story short, I'm the best candidate anyone could come up with for the world's first face transplant."
Profoundly awesome: Brangelina meets Sonic Youth
In keeping with my new love affair with "stoner metal," I bring you the new hottness: THE SWORD. Imagine playing Dungeons & Dragons with Satan, Ozzy, and a bass amp the size of Mount Rushmore. Yeah... veeeeery heavy.
"I don't know any 'Zartan'." (Hearty thanks to Matt for this amazing flashback.)
Finally, thanks (I think) to the management's Legal Counsel for sending along the strangest video I've seen all year. I can't really describe it, but it involves Boards of Canada.
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